I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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