what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
