I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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