Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
