Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
