I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
