when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
