We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
