I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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