I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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