if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
