Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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