flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
