We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Liz is crying about burritos again.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
