We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
