Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
