I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize