I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
