Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude i'm inner monologue high
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
