You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
