Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
