you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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