I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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