do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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