people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
