Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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