dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
