I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
