Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
