Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
only you would photoshop your dick
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
