You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
