I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize