This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
