she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
