Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
