i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
