Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Too much gin, very little bucket
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
