My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
