his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
