I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
As shirtless as possible
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
