Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
