You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
