I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize