Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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