About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
