Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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