my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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