let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
