He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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