Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
