Non-Jews are for practice
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
