Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
