There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
