i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
