May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He did a backflip because drugs
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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