The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
