You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
