So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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