Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
