Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
