okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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