Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
