oh god the rape fog is back!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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