You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
