I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
