I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Is it penis luge time yet?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
