I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
