turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
