We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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