we have pet lesbian snakes
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
