Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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