No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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