I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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