My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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